About Therapy
Staying stuck gets you nowhere.
A mind in pain is like a car stuck in a muddy ditch. No matter how much you try to move forward, the wheels keep spinning, the mud splashing, and everything gets dirty.
The mind can spin and chew on the same old resentments, hurts, and humiliations while attempting to find some resolution and happiness, but nothing changes. Life keeps getting messy, and no progress is made.
Therapy is like calling AAA roadside service.
Therapy can dry the mud up, put some boards under the tires, or, if need be, tow the car out. Once the vehicle is free of the ditch, it can go anywhere the road allows.
Likewise, once the mind is out of its rut of trauma and pain, it can travel in all kinds of directions. It is more creative and capable and has a lot more options available. An unrestrained, more open mind is a freer, more open heart.
When I work with people, I aim to help them unstick their minds, allowing them more freedom to create the life they want.
Work to find the answers – for yourself.
As your therapist, I will not tell you how to live your life or give you advice that you can get from any friend. My role is to help you find the answers that work for you.
I am also here to help you process any pain, trauma, or shame that is holding you back or derailing your dreams. You get to set the pace and define what you want to explore. I am not here to force you to do anything.
Therapy is a collaborative venture, and I will meet you where you are currently. Exploring the inner landscapes of your heart and mind can seem like a scary venture. But it is not as scary or uncomfortable as you may imagine.
Getting to know yourself in new ways and surprising yourself with who you can become is so worth it.
About Bryan Wagner, PLPC, CMHC
Overcoming shame and self-hatred was not easy.
It is said that therapists go into the profession to “fix” themselves. For me, it was the other way around. I became a therapist because I was “fixed” by therapy. Like the recovered addict becoming a drug and alcohol counselor or the troubled teen turned therapist specializing in teen issues, I am a “toxic shame” survivor wanting to help others find their way to freedom.
I grew up gay in a conservative Catholic family. In my youth, I was all too familiar with the intense self-loathing that can accompany one who is being told by their religion that they are going to Hell just by being who they are. In my attempt to deal with that self-hatred, I looked into alternative spiritual paths. I found one, but it ended up having its own issues. Actually, it ended up being a cult.
The eastern meditation group I joined saved me from the terrors of Hell that were always playing in the back of my mind. I began to heal and thought I had found salvation. Unfortunately, the group began to change and imposed its own version of “You’re not good enough.” I found that no matter how much I volunteered, served, and promoted the cause of the group, I wasn’t doing enough. I was expected to give more time, do more service, and be more committed. After a long while, I figured I couldn’t win this game and had enough of being shamed, so I left.
But the cult mindset didn’t leave me right away. It took years to deconstruct the deep-seated propaganda of the group and realize I was not wrong for leaving a group that purported to save the world.
Therapy led me to become a therapist.
Once I left the cult and the cult mindset left me, I realized I still had ghosts of my religious past haunting me. I thought I worked it all out, but life told me otherwise.
This is when I sought therapy, and I am so happy I did. Therapy helped me heal the deeper recesses of my mind and heart. The result was a much simpler and more confident life, lived on my terms, free of nagging doubt and insecurity.
As a result of the benefits therapy provided me, I decided to become a psychotherapist so I could help others overcome challenges in their lives.
In my work with clients, I help them deal with their trauma and struggles. I understand the confusion, fear, and hurt that living with deep shame can cause. I also understand what living and leaving an oppressive religious or cultic group is like.
The healing journey can be long and disorienting. I have walked that path and understand the terrain. Although I cannot find the way for you, I can help you find the path you must travel that leads to healing, greater peace, understanding, and a way of living that works for you.
Let’s take this journey together!
I know the healing journey and am familiar with the terrain. This is why I can be a guide to help you on your way.
You don’t have to do it alone.
Contact me for more information on how I can help.